The story of your life should not make sense to anyone, not even yourself. The desire for legibility ultimately just leads to delusion and denial of self.

There is no good reason for reality to make sense.

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Fix your heart or die

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Ideas are not endpoints and memories are not records. Recollection and recognition are a traversal of imaginal space, much like traversal of the physical world... except there is no distinction to draw. Nostalgic rumination is the Disney Cruise of travelling the world - safe, contained, held at arms length to gawk at.

My life is a patchwork quilt sewn into a mobius strip. Each and every experience recontextualises what came before, every moment has the potential to radically transform the topology of understanding. This process of interweaving the past, present and future is culture. We stitch together the imaginal, the spiritual, the tangible and the possible into a tapestry that defies form. "To know" is the carrot on the stick that the subconscious dangles in front of us.

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Most people spend their life searching for and maintaining a protective barrier around the tiny domain where they can convince themselves the world makes sense. This is a regression, not an attainment. It is a gift to rupture someone's false reality but one that must be delivered with tact and respect - not judgement.

We only escape one bubble to find another but the goal is not to be without a barrier, but to be unattached to a specific one.

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Every realisation spirals around on itself and unravels in due time. You cannot write about, think about or harness the unknowable. You can only orient yourself towards it based on the structure of your imagination. A method to have good ideas immediately becomes the opposite.

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"I want to do something interesting" - interesting to whom? when? Interest is a dynamic quality, as soon as you can truly explain why something is interesting the interest evaporates. It's a pointer to potential further interest, nothing more. Fixation on interest (an interesting job, an interesting life) will result in the opposite: a formulaic existence that other uninteresting people have taken before.

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